32 Things to do when your ISP is down

  1. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years.
  2. Re-introduce yourself to your immediate family.
  3. You mean there's something else to do?
  4. Steal WiFi from your neighbor.
  5. Play single player mode.
  6. Get that kidney transplant you've been putting off.
  7. Slit your wrists with broken AOL trial disks.
  8. Start talking to your girlfriend again.
  9. Call friends to see if their ISP is working.
  10. Create your own IM bot to converse with.
  11. Plot out your revenge for the ISP.
  12. Run in circles, screaming hysterically about the end of the world.
  13. Open up the ol' pinging .bat file!
  14. Take a shower and scrape off mold/fern from body.
  15. Go through your web cache to see if you missed anything.
  16. Switch to TV.
  17. Twiddle your thumbs.
  18. Go to the bathroom (of course!).
  19. Hang yourself with network cables.
  20. Load up the zsnes emulator and play chrono trigger and earthbound for hours.
  21. Smack your modem against the wall.
  22. Smash your head on the keyboard until it restores.
  23. Get a black rooster paint a pentacle with his blood and do some invocations.
  24. Go out to buy another pallet of Mountain Dew for the year ahead.
  25. Host a LAN game with hopes of people joining.
  26. Write your lists on paper.
  27. Bet on horses; wake up the gerbil.
  28. Go to Starbucks and Login to T-Mobile.
  29. Pray to the Dark Gods that it will be fixed.
  30. Try dialing in every 10 minutes, just in case its back up.
  31. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote.
  32. Dial 911.

No comments:

Post a Comment